On Wednesday evening I sat in a dim restaurant with a screen glowing “Workshop 1: Raise Your Value” and practised saying a number I had no business saying yet.
The scenario handed to us was a Customer Success Manager role, salary range $95,000 to $110,000. We filled out a workbook first: our strongest differentiator, three value statements, an opening number. I wrote that I cleanly and meticulously craft software that solves problems, and that I write documentation people can actually understand. Then we paired up, scanned QR codes for our private role briefs, and negotiated out loud.
My opening number was $110,000. Saying it to a stranger’s face felt deeply awkward. Part of that was just the discomfort of asking for money in front of someone. But part of it was that the number wasn’t really mine. As a full-time software engineer, $110,000 is a real ask. As a student going after internships, it isn’t, not yet. So I was rehearsing confidence for a version of myself that hasn’t fully arrived.
The line that stuck with me came from the debrief. Not every negotiation succeeds, even if you do everything right. Sometimes the budget genuinely isn’t there, and knowing when to walk away is part of advocating for yourself. There was a blank on the worksheet for “my walk-away position” and I’d left it empty. That felt like the honest part of the whole exercise.
On Saturday I went kayaking for the first time.
I could not row straight to save my life. I kept veering off to the side, correcting too hard, veering the other way. The kayaks themselves were heavy, and I dropped mine a few times just trying to carry it, though luckily those things are built like tanks. For the first while I felt like I was fighting the water.
Then, after about an hour, it clicked. I stopped over-correcting and just moved. It turned into a great arm workout and genuinely a lot of fun, the kind of tired that feels good.
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